The Performance Tax

The Hidden Cost of Being Exceptional in the Workplace

There’s a strange irony in being great at your job. You become reliable. Trusted. Respected. And then, without discussion or warning, you become the person who gets called on first. The one who fixes mistakes. The one who takes on the hard clients. The one who trains the new starter. You’re rewarded not with recognition or rest—but with more work.

This is the reality for many high-performing women in male-dominated industries. The moment your competence becomes known, it becomes expected. It becomes the baseline. And the moment you can no longer carry the weight? You’re no longer considered exceptional—you’re seen as slipping. Failing. Letting the team down.

The Unspoken Cost of Competence

This phenomenon is often referred to as the “performance tax.” It’s the hidden cost of being exceptional. The price paid for being good at what you do is not praise—it’s pressure. And it rarely comes with a pay rise.

Where men may be praised for going above and beyond, women are expected to do it—and are penalised when they don’t. Once a woman proves herself capable, she is more likely to be given additional responsibilities, often without additional compensation or authority. It becomes her job to hold everything together, while those around her are allowed to focus on their core tasks.

Mental Load and Invisible Labour

This isn’t just about the workplace, either. Outside of work, many women are still expected to carry the majority of the emotional and organisational load of their households. From managing the kids’ schedules to making doctor’s appointments, remembering birthdays, planning meals, and organising the social calendar—these tasks are often invisible, but they are work.

A recent discussion on the MissPerceived podcast, hosted by sociologist Leah Ruppanner, referenced research by Suzanne M. Bianchi, Melissa A. Milkie, Liana Sayer, and John P. Robinson tracking housework between 1965 and 1995. Over those 30 years, women’s weekly housework dropped from 30 to 17.5 hours, and men’s rose from 4.9 to 10. While that sounds like progress, the base numbers tell another story. Women halved their time. Men doubled theirs. But the gap—still 7.5 hours per week—remained. By 2022, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, women still spent an average of 2.7 hours on housework per day compared to men’s 2.2. That half-hour difference might seem minor—until you multiply it across 365 days. That’s more than 180 hours a year, or roughly 4.5 extra work weeks—for free.

Burnout by a Thousand Cuts

This relentless expectation creates burnout—not just from workload, but from decision fatigue. What’s for dinner? Who’s picking up the kids? When’s the next dentist appointment? These questions fall disproportionately on women. Even in households where domestic duties are more evenly split, the role of the decision-maker often remains with her.

This constant pressure to make the right call—at work and at home—wears women down. It’s not just the tasks themselves; it’s the responsibility for outcomes. The emotional weight of “what if I get it wrong?” is ever-present.

And for those in automotive and motorsport, the pressure compounds. These spaces demand performance, precision, and passion. But when your life is already filled with responsibility and fatigue, the passion projects are the first to go. Motorsports—which require time, planning, travel, and often money—can feel like a luxury rather than a necessity. And when a woman decides to step back, it’s often labelled as selfish by those who don’t understand it. “Why are you spending your weekend at the track?” “Shouldn’t you be home more?” The implication is that her passion is indulgent, rather than a lifeline.

But this is where we get it wrong. For many women in motoring, the paddock is where they find their people. It’s where they feel seen. Filling your own cup—whether that’s by tuning a car, racing on the weekend, crewing for a team, or just being part of a community that gets it—is vital for performance in all areas of life.

Social interaction, peer support, and time spent doing something you love can’t be underestimated. Those performance milestones, even in hobby form, buoy your confidence. And the mental reprieve of being surrounded by people who see your strengths—not your shortcomings—can be the exact antidote to burnout.

The Penalty for Saying No

When high-performing women begin to set boundaries, they’re often met with resistance. Declining an extra task or refusing to stay late becomes a mark against them. They’re no longer “a team player.”

This leads to a dangerous dynamic: women push themselves to the brink, because to slow down is to risk being judged as less committed. But constantly performing at 110% isn’t sustainable. Eventually, something gives—usually their health, relationships, or sense of self-worth.

What Are We Willing to Tolerate?

We say we want capable, confident women in our teams. But are we creating cultures that truly support them? Or do we only value their contributions when they’re going above and beyond—quietly, and without complaint?

We need to start asking harder questions. Why does competence so often lead to exploitation? Why do we conflate high performance with high tolerance for overwork? What would change if we refused to penalise women for setting boundaries? If we rotated the invisible tasks and shared the decision-making load?

Final Thoughts

We’re not here to fix the problem in one blog post—but we can start a conversation.

Let’s be honest about the cost of constantly carrying the load. Let’s recognise the women in our industry who are quietly burning out while still showing up and delivering. Let’s question why passion is seen as selfishness—and why stepping away is seen as weakness.

There’s power in naming what’s wrong. Power in holding space for real stories. And there’s power in creating room for women to rest, reset, and return to the things that bring them joy—without guilt.

Let’s talk about it.